So lately I've been struggling with the balance between friends and family. A lot of times, I feel guilty for not spending time with my friends because of family commitments. I've struggled because I love my friends dearly, but my kids and their well being and their mood and their growth is all at stake when they miss a few hours of sleep. Their routine is so important, especially Ian's. He does so much better when he is on his routine and I have witnessed that if I mess with that routine, I risk him waking in the middle of the night or early in the morning and none of us get the sleep we need.

But I heard something the other day that really help put things in perspective for me. When we have kids, we tend to try to fit the old us into our family life, that of course, that doesn't work AT ALL. So instead of keeping our old self, I should accept that who I am has changed, so I need to re-invent myself. I need to find out who I am with two kids instead of one and I need to allow myself to be that person and try not to revert back to who I was as a parent to just one child. I went through the same process with Melody, its just that it lasted a LONG time and really it wasn't fully decided until recent years. Well, I want to take a more proactive approach this time - I don't want it to take years and I don't want people to make me feel guilty for putting my children first or taking care of myself so that my children can rely on me for anything that they need. I love my kids and I love spending time with my family. But I am missing my time with my friends and I don't know how to give both things the attention they need. I don't feel as if my friends think I am being a good friend.

On another note...

Yesterday was Ian's first 4th of July. Tonight we drove down the road and found the perfect spot to view the city's fireworks from just about .2 of a mile from our house. The fireworks were so-so, could have been better, but I am still thankful that our city had them because last year they didn't. Ian kind of watched the fireworks, but was randomly distracted by cars that drove by....so cute, his eyes would follow the car until it was out of his site and then back to fireworks. Melody was excited and giddy about the whole experience, which is fun. She's at a great age, maturing, but still has a lot of child like qualities. We bought a fountain and a pack of sparklers. Gotta love sparklers!

Ian has been a sleepy boy today. He woke up briefly at 5am, had a bottle, and then went back to sleep until 9:30am and then got up and ate and played for about two hours and then slept for about 2 and 1/2 hours. He just had lunch and is playing now. Yay for lazy sundays!